So what in the name of fuck is up with the Dallas Music Fest (just look at all these awesome bands like Drowning Pool!)? Maybe there are some good bands playing that we don't know about, but other than Eat Avery's Bones we didn't recognize a single one that we like. As if Deep Ellum didn't have a bad enough rap as it is, these people had to go and schedule a frat boy Nu Metal daterape crapfest right in the heart of a neighborhood that doesn't need any more shit than it already has. So instead of putting in the work and listening to these bands to figure out if any are actually worth going to see, we've decided to go through the list of performers and decide what some of them probably sound like anyway, without the whole listening to them thing. Here are some thoughts:

1. Deus Ex Machina: The lead singer got kicked out of UNT, where he majored in literature and Chillin', after they found out he cheated on his SAT. He quoted some greek drama one time at a party and got a hand job, so he was like "fuck it dude, I'm startin a band. Dues Ex Machina forever motherfucker!"

2. Strangleweed: These guys will kick your ass if you short them on a sack

3. Shiver Tree: Have you ever thought about seasons, and how they affect your feelings? These guys have

4. Shallow Promise: The best way to deal with the memory of that really horrible time in your life where your dad made you transfer to Plano West from Plano Senior is to SCREAM ABOUT IT AND PLAY POWER CHORDS!

5. Chasing February: These guys... oh, fuck it. Emo bands are too easy.

JR

YOU ASSHOLE do you even know what Chasing February sounds like? DROWNING POOL? Are you serious that is good music to you?
First of all there is no Emo at all in Chasing February! So before you bash someone you should do some research but I guess cunt drips such as yourself have forgotten how to think before you open your mouth.

Its good to see that some people have a sense of humor.... unlike some of the other bands we have heard from in the past.

LMFAO!!!!
bwahahahaha
Thats funny!
I play for Shamus McNasty and that shit is just plain hilarious. good stuff. It's crazy the shit you find when useing google....and yes the DMF did suck a big one. Poorly organized.

hahahahahahahahaha. thats great.

and on the veldt. nothing specificaly "bad" about them, but i'm hoping they've gotten a bit more organized since their lollypop shoppe gig. too many different styles, too much time spent changing and plugging in instruments (i mean it's cool to know how to play a bunch of different instruments, but it seemed like they were only trying to show that to people... kinda made me realize that a band might just need a "leader" figure to say "hey, fuck that... "

anyway, yeah.... anything that trys to exploit "dallas music" and stuff usually ends up being garbage.... old ass fake metal dudes, ryan cabrerra wana-be's (who's a "not-douchebag-wannna-be"), and other stuff that was once all over top 40 radio but has long been uncool even to ashlee simpson fans (someone go to this fest and do a seven-string-guitar-count.... someone playing this thing's gotta have one)

We got roped into this mess too, fortunately for us our band goes on at 7pm, so we can play and then bolt. ...well we might try to swing over and catch the Veldt. and no we ain't Shamus McNasty, but we are playing with that Shivering Tree band you mentioned. brrr brrr brrr

I have a feeling the promoters involved in this are only it for the money. We didn't sell one ticket, thank god they didn't put us in the 1 AM slot. whew!

BTW, your blog has been cracking me up.

preach it brother.

I see that the weedemon already beat me to the self-promotion-punch, but yes, there are a few (very, very few) of us who somehow got roped in to this retarded event.
We go on at 9:30 p.m. at Tom Cats. I realize the rest of line up is awful, so if you kids feel like we were not worth the price of admission I will personally refund the $10 out of my own poor-ass pocket.

So, is two days of nu-metal worth one glorious hour of rock n' roll?

That's a tough one.
theVELDT
Jeremy J.

the Veldt, out of Arlington, are the other good band playing. they'll be on Friday. not sure time/venue just yet. hit the myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/theveldtmusic

Too funny. How out of touch can they get? But hey, I guess they have to represent that part of Dallas... where Drowning Pool and Dime Bag are heroes and emo runs rampant in high school-ville.