Why can no one write a fucking artist statement that actually states anything?

I torture myself every once in a while by forcing myself to read the various artist statements tied to these shows. The process often goes like this: I understand what the artist statement is trying to say, and I like their artwork -- but the two have absolutely nothing to do with the each other.

A prime example this week is Pamela Phatsimo Sunstrum's artist statement (exhibiting this weekend at Conduit Gallery, see below), explaining how she:

[...] explores cultural residue: those things we carry that connect us to a place or to a person; those traces that are communicated -- as story, as ritual, as "mouth music"-- and are transmitted between bodies and across landscapes.

sunstrum's most recent work [...] embodies [her] notion of simultaneous selves-- selves that are trans-cultural, trans-historical, trans-geographical. She/they are on a mythic quest: the hero in a ritual of self-mythology and fantastical autobiography.

I think her artwork looks great, but what the fuck does this statement have to do with what she's doing (take a look at her portfolio)? And mouth music? I'll show you some mouth music.

Artist statements are either completely wheels off nuts and unrelated like that, or they're so completely generic that they don't say anything about anything at all. For example, great artwork by artist Gregg Coker (opening at Craighead Green this weekend, see below), but this accompanies it:

In light of my present work, I am concerned with the form and its relationship to the space around it, as well as the area between the viewer's eyes and the surface of the painting. I want the viewer to be confronted. I want the space between the work and its audience to be charged. At the same time, I am concerned with the vastness within the painting itself. I am interested in the play of scale and the sensation of weight and tension in my work.

Is that not what the entire point of a fucking painting is? Jesus Christ. Why not just not write an artist statement and save yourself the future embarrassment? Artists across the planet should band together and refuse to allow another single artist statement to be created ever again.

For fuck's sake, if you're not already famous for your art, you probably don't have anything new to say. Just shut the fuck up!

Enjoy this weekend's shows...

FRIDAY, JANUARY 8, 2010

Warnings and Instructions
James Gilbert
Dallas Contemporary
161 Glass Street, Dallas, TX 75207
8:30 PM - 11:30 PM

Michael Berman
Galleri Urbane Dallas
2277 Monitor Street, Dallas, TX 75207
6:00 PM - 8:30 PM

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9, 2010

Gregg Coker
Jackson Hammack
Chris Mason
Craighead Green Gallery
1011 Dragon Street, Dallas, TX 75207
5:00 PM - 8:00 PM

C. Meng
Annabel Daou
Pamela Sunstrum
Conduit Gallery
1621 Hi Line Drive, #C, Dallas, TX 75207
5:30 PM - 8:30 PM

Surveillance
William Betts
Holly Johnson Gallery
1411 Dragon Street, Dallas, TX 75207
5:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Rhondal McKinney
PDNB Gallery
1202 Dragon Street, Suite 103, Dallas, TX 75207
5:00 PM - 8:00 PM