Select (Spike in Mockingbird Station)
Not really the best place to hear Select but it's definitely a credit to the establishment if not vice versa. Select boasts one of the smartest sets in town anyways, but beyond that he's also infinitely superior to the standup comedy I had to sit through at this bar once upon a time. I couldn't even choke down my overpriced Chilean Sea Bass.

Roky Erickson Hoot Night with Nate Fowler's Elixir | American Werewolf Academy | Brent Best /Matt Barnhart and more...(Double Wide)
The "Hoot Night" is the live equivalent of a tribute album, therefore making it quite a risky affair since tribute albums at their absolute best still might be about one and a half to two stars as a listening experience. Anytime you have a handful of lesser talents tackle the unquestionable legacy of people like Mr. Erickson, the stakes are even higher. Even pathetic Nashville country singers cover the Rolling Stones but it takes a certain kind of music savvy to even want to be in on this. Should be interesting at least. Here's hoping that the most noteworthy thing about this show isn't the fact that part of the Dallas media elite actually came to the improbable conclusion that Roky Erikson would play the Double Wide on a Thursday night. Duh.

Lost Generation With DJ Wanz Dover (Fallout Lounge)

80's Night With DJ G (Hailey's)

not to come off a tad cartmanesque, but i hate kyle.
p.s. sam ur not really around anymore, remember???????

No, my curiousity is not THAT morbid. Theres nothing in the world that would make me look at a blog called BigDlittled. Written by you know who. Christ, what bad advice you give. I'll ask a friend who went thanks.

ME: Little not fact about Chuck D... He is NOT related to Lou Ferrigno.

YOU: Everybody knows that.

ME: No. It's widely ASSUMED that they are not related.

Anakin Skywalker jammed with them alot in the early days, but was never "officially" in the band. That was kind of their gimmick though as 10:53 pointed out. James Jones' nickname was actually Daddy. Davey Koresh (Auxillary drummer 95-97) went by Jesus. But yeah, Anakin showed up to practice and Jim told him to take his "pussy Joy Division lovin" ass home, and to take his 16 tier pedal board with him. It was the end of a great era. You might find a tape from that time they put out on Patchewlee Deth records. Good luck though.

Wasn't Anakin Skywalker a founding member of the Prowses? Before he got kicked out by James E. "Jesus" Jones?

Sam M wrote about Roky Erickson? Oh yeah, his music has been in Hollywood movies.

Minstral Gravy

The Worst Band Names of '06: The Final List
posted by: Kyle Ryan
January 12, 2007 - 4:02pm

Regular blog readers may remember my mid-year tally of the worst band names we’d encountered, a glimpse of the year-end’s definitive list of bad puns, clumsy imagery, and misappropriation of the word “funk.” There are so many bands out there, and so many of them have bad names—and not just run-of-the-mill mediocrity like Real Lunch. I mean truly awful, what-were-they-thinking kinda names. Poofinger, anyone?

I know a bad name when I see one. After all, in high school I played in a punk band called Schooled Stupid (which still makes me chuckle)—although we changed it to Cabal before settling on Casper for some reason. When I was 15, I was in a loose industrial-rock collective called 12 Inch Breath Mint, whose phallic undertones were lost on all of us. (As a friend’s mom pointed out, “It’s 12 inches, and you put it in your mouth.”)

So, my bad-name recognition skills thus established, let’s move on to this year’s names, divided into two categories: worst band names (i.e., no redeeming value whatsoever, just sheer suckitude) and best worst band names (i.e., funny or otherwise charming). Let’s begin scraping the barrel’s bottom, shall we?

WORST BAND NAMES
Gnarls Barkley
Danger Mouse and Cee-lo’s innovative skills stopped short when it came time to choose a moniker.
Morningwood
Any cock-related name is a lay-up for the list, especially if it’s boner-inspired. Morning boner? Welcome to the list, y’all. While we’re here, let’s do some more genitalia-related names…
Rigor Phallus
What’s this, Latin for erect penis? It sounds terrible in any language.
Bonerama
Brutal Dildos
They have "Sorry mom" at the top of their MySpace page. Nice.
MC Vagina
Clit Ripper
Genital Hercules
The Poontang Wranglers
A name like that practically guarantees there’ll be no poon to wrangle after the show. But at least they appear to be a joke band.

Papa Grows Funk
If you put “funk” in your name, you should be smacked. Although nothing may ever touch last year’s Public Display Of Funk for sheer audacity in its terribleness. To wit…
Urban Funk Ordinance
Yes, let’s pass one outlawing this band.
Bandits Of The Acoustic Revolution
Using the word “bandits,” minus 5 points. “Revolution,” another five. “Acoustic,” minus 15. Using them together, minus 1,000 points. They sound like cousins of these guys:
Natives Of The New Dawn
and
Daughters Of The Sun
You can practically smell the patchouli from here. Ditto for these fückengrüven names…
Groovatron
Tye Dye Skye
National Ass Groovin’ Association

Similarly, all pot-related names are bad no matter what, as the culture around marijuana couldn’t be more inane:
Fahrenheit 420
Smokable Politics

Emo bands can always be counted on, too:
Cute Is What We Aim For
This Song Is A Mess And So Am I
Boys Like Girls
Heartwarmer
I haven’t heard ‘em, so they may not be emo, but they’re kindred spirits regardless.
The Devil Wears Prada
Assuming these guys predate the Meryl Streep film of the same name, they still stole their title from a recent, popular book. It all but begs the studio, publisher, and Prada to file cease-and-desist orders. After that, expect TDWP to change their name slightly, like Green Jell-O did with Green Jelly, or Ritalin Kids with Riddlin’ Kids. Maybe The Devil Wears Prahda?
Curiosity Valentine
They play jazz, but still have an emo-ish name.

You know who else can be counted on for bad names? Hardcore bands. One of the worst of all time—Gorilla Biscuits—even reunited for a tour this year. Their descendents:
Set Your Goals
They’re heavily influenced by GB, from their music to their name: Set Your Goals was the title of GB frontman Civ’s first album after the Biscuits. Even with that reference, it’s still a dumb name. “Now touring the motivational speakers’ circuit, Set Your Goals!”
Silence The Foe
“Of course we’re heavy—don’t you know our name is Silence The Foe?”

And don’t forget bad metal bands:
Figure H8
Sik Fuk

Stupid proper-name combinations:
Guns N’Rosa Parks
Osama Bin SARS
Tom Cruise Control
It’s like an Us Weekly headline come to life!

And others:
The Delaware Stringasm
They even boast they made the earlier list on their MySpace page.
The Robocop Kraus
Down With Naked
Honkytonk Homeslice
Green Milk From The Planet Orange
X-Rated Porno Machine
Mood Syrup
Magic Gravy
Nitrous Foxide
The Axe That Chopped Down The Cherry Tree
Forth Yeer Freshman

12:57-

A. No one cares that galaxy closed down they stopped having good shows there before you were born.

True.

B. How was the "Hoot" night last night? Out of morbid curiousity.

Ask BigDlittled.

C. Chilean Sea Bass is bad for you

Nobody said it was good for you.

D. Offensive Listener killed Stonedranger with his wordiness.

I know. Words. On a blog. Who would've thought?

Wasn't Pearl Jam one of the "Holy Trinity" of Brownsville pre-punk bands around 76? You know, Chocolate Sunshine Windowpane, Cold Stone Creamery Doesn't Exist Yet But I Bet They're Going to Suck Because Ice Cream Is Not Hardcore, and Pearl Jam? I got their 7" flexi out of issue -7 of MaximumRockandRoll and it was pretty good. I can tape it for you if you want.

y'all into Pearl Jam?

Plastic Nativity Faggots are the Crystal Pepsi of the whole Psych/Folk/Doom bands. The third track on their second cd is really good around the 15:37 mark. Too bad you can only get it from Uraguay though. That part is reeeeally good.

I saw Ass Feltcher when you were just a drip in your Dad's rented tuxedo pants during an 8th grade slow dance. The bass player used to wear socks with his sandles all the time. Claimed it made his "thud staff" more "punchy." They were nice guys, but the music sucked.

This thread made me laugh out loud. Thanks, y'all.
More funny band names, please.

anyone ever heard of the plastic nativity faggots?

Police Teeth? Weak. I saw Ass Feltcher and the Swallowing Seven in 83, changed my life...Didn't walk right for a week. what?

A. No one cares that galaxy closed down they stopped having good shows there before you were born.
B. How was the "Hoot" night last night? Out of morbid curiousity.
C. Chilean Sea Bass is bad for you
D. Offensive Listener killed Stonedranger with his wordiness.

sylvester stallone was in town? rocky? what?

i'm lester the nightfly, hello baton rouge, won't you turn your radio down. respect the seven second delay we use. so you say there's a race of men in the trees, you're for tough legislation. thanks for calling, i wait all night for calls like these..

Did they ever make a band out of that? That was my favorite.
The Prowes are alright I guess. I got that 42" red/green marbled split they did with The Mormon Toilet Papers. There were about 4 of them made, all hand numbered by Koko the gorilla. If they'd lose that fucking theremin player they'd be good, but for now I'll just try to ignore it.

The last thing I'd want to do is get between two anons. My apologies. Most band names are bad. Even bands I like.

o.k. dl, first off i believe i was speaking to my fellow anon and if that was you, be yerself, m'kay? frankly, there are no shortage of ill-conceived shit band names out there, i assure you...
p.s. where's floppers w/crayons?!?

Are You There God? Its Me, Danzig is unquestionably the best band name ever. I cried blood from laughing the first time I heard about it.

*hangs head in shame*
Yes, I know who Police Teeth are too. Are You There God? Its Me, Danzig.

I actually have heard Police Teeth. They weren't around in '95. They're also not very good. I know you were making a joke but I'm lame enough that I know that band.

Yeah, but I didn't hear about them on purpose, so top that, poseueueuer. Best band in D/d/FW is the Prowses. They didn't even know they were together. Hell, three of them never even met. Your loss.

Chilean Sea Bass is probably going to break up soon due to overfishing. Good riddance I say. They're older stuff was good, but this new disco-prog-shoegazer crap they're doing is just no good. Saw em back in 95 opening for Police Teeth, who were also good, and broke up right when they started sucking. Yeah, you've probably never heard of them though.

9:50-

That's pretty accurate but my mom only eats catfish from Golden Chick.

that's funny, your mom said it was catfish.

chilean sea bass is the very indiest of all fish

Galaxy Club is closed down.

and another thing if you missed Futur soul Soundclash at Gezellig tonight you really missed out. karl (trumpet madman, astro-jazz guy) played with them and slayed the house. Futuresoul soundclash sounded great...very st. germain.
Any one else here heard them?

Rocky was in town recently. He was at Big Mike Clarke's studio doing some recording. Rumor has it there is an underground release coming out soon in Dallas!!!

I second that. Let's talk about the scene and not each other.

i thought this space was about music...WTF?

Is Stonedranger dead?

Is Spacemen 3 covering Rollercoaster?

man, i gotsta tell u guys, the games way, way down. enjoy the mavs! not. oh, and fuck benz..

Did anyone else notice that Matthew Dear is at minc tomorrow night? I wish I new about this stuff in advance.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

did somebody say my name?