First of all, swing by this Vice post that links to a blog started by a rather sleazy associate of We Shot JR, and while you're there please feel free to have a few laughs at the parade of douches you'll find and the captions below their pics. Even though this is NOT a local blog, you might even recognize a couple of them! We can't reveal her identity, but that makes it more fun, you know? Now for shows, hos (and sorry we're late and short today, but without our jobs, we couldn't pay to go to all these shows and cover them for you, you know? Oh wait, we never pay to get into anything. sowwy)

FRIDAY

Fungi Girls | Electric Vengeance | Scoff (Cleburne Skate Center)
I know you probably aren't going to drive to Cleburne for this, but considering that Fungi Girls have received more national press than any other local band so far in 2009, we had to put this up here, right? Apparently these dudes got played yesterday afternoon on XM satellite radio, which is just the latest in crazy things that have happened to them over the past couple weeks. Anyway, if you're interested, Fungi Girls go on at 715 PM apparently.

Akkolyte | Vorvadoss | Fighting Change | Scumrush | Enemies of Inertia | Blood OV (Reno's)
Pretty brutal show at a pretty brutal venue. In the first instance, brutal means fierce, harsh and fun. In the second, it means "Why am I in Deep Ellum on a weekend night? Get me the fuck away from this rockabilly convention." JK guys, Akkolyte and Vorvadoss are worth braving most shitty crowds in order to see.

Genova | Panda Toes | Van Damme/Females (the Cavern)

Matthew and the Arrogrant Sea | RTB2 | The Beaten Sea (1207 Annex Ave., Dallas)
Now that Swiss House is more or less gone, Dallas pretty much has a total of zero regular locations for house shows. Maybe this could end up being the first.

Uptown Fridays with Select (Zubar)

Stag Film | The Me Thinks | Bastardo de Sancho (Doublewide)

Awkquarius (Rubber Gloves)

SATURDAY

Aquarius Party with Big J and Select (Fallout Lounge)

Drug Mountain | Fungi Girls | No Babies | A Smile Full Of Ale (1919 Hemphill)
Great local and kind of local lineup along with a band I've heard great things about: Mobile, Alabama's No Babies. -DL

SUNDAY

Some Jerk Off | Orange Coax | Geistheistler (Majestic Dwelling of Doom)
You know what the best part about being me is? I can tell you that two really great bands are playing at Majestic Dwelling of Doom on Sunday, and then I can just ignore the other crap that may or may not be occuring at the same place around the same time. Way to go Potato, your publicity scheme worked like a charm!